Standing in my friend’s kitchen, a house I had been to many times, I was admiring the stain on her timber floors and asked her when she had them done. She looked up over her cup of tea and laughed, telling me with surprise they had always been that way. Was I really that self centred, I wondered, as I realised I hadn’t noticed her timber floors before.
I felt lucky as I recalled what I had learnt about the unconscious mind and how it works… lucky that I didn’t need to feel self-centred or give myself a hard time. I knew we are only consciously aware of around 10% of our environment at any one time and the 10% that gets through will be that which is relevant and important in our life at the time. This is why when you are trying to fall pregnant you notice pregnant women. Of course there are no more pregnant women than there have ever been but now it is relevant and important to you so gets filtered through to your conscious awareness. The same goes for when you are building a garden or buying a new yellow VW – you will notice plants in other gardens that have always been and you will be surprised how many yellow VW’s there are in the world. At the time of noticing my friend’s floors I had just pulled up cork tiles in my kitchen and was deciding what colour stain to use on the timber I found underneath!
Our unconscious mind takes in EVERYTHING, 100% of our surrounds. Imagine being conscious of 100%! No thank you. I often get overwhelmed with just 10%. It is easy to see that the filtering is a valuable and important process and explains why 10 people can have 10 different stories after witnessing the same event.
Have you ever been in a room with lots of noise and someone from across the room mentions your name? You hear it clear as day even though you cannot hear anything else. This is the filter playing its part again, letting through important information into your conscious awareness.
Now while I certainly don’t want to be aware of 100%, there is a down side to this filtering process. People often say,“I will believe it when I see it”, but in actual fact I think it is the other way around… you will see it when you believe it or you will see what you believe. Now, this is fine if you believe the world is a positive place and people are nice because your 10% will include information that matches what is relevant to you. You will notice positive things that are happening and you will see the nice things people do. If, however, you are a person who believes the world is cruel and dangerous and that people are inherently bad, guess what will be included in the 10% that is filtered to your conscious awareness?
This is why one of my favourite authors Dr Wayne Dyer wrote the book “Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life”. When you change what you think, you change your beliefs and this changes the 10% you notice, which will change your experience of situations and therefore change your life.
If you are familiar with me you will know that I often say, “Why isn’t this information taught in schools”, or, “Why were we not taught this as children”. I say this because this is life changing information and if I knew about this as a child it would have changed my childhood significantly.
Think of a child (or adult for that matter) who thinks no one likes them. They are not good around groups of people and they don’t make friends easily. When they walk into a party or group situation, what do you think they will notice? They may notice that when they walk over to a group of friends some leave the group. They may notice that one child is not listening to them when they speak. Maybe another child has their arms folder or is not making eye contact.
What about the child (or adult) who believes they are likeable. They are good in group situations and make friends easily. Their experience of the same event would be totally different. They would notice the child that came over and joined the group. They would see the child who was interacting and smiling at them and anything else that matches their belief.
Knowing this means you can arm yourself with beliefs that will give you the experience you want to have by showing you the 10% that matches your belief AND you can teach your children to do the same. Knowledge is power and you would be surprised with how easily kids take on this information and use it.
How do create the sort of beliefs you want? Here are some things to know about beliefs that may help.
1. A belief is just a thought repeated over and over.
2. Beliefs are not necessarily true but always feel true.
3. What you believe, you will see (and we have already talked about this one.)
So all you need to do is think the sort of thoughts that will give you the belief you want and think them over and over again.
If you think I am lazy, you will notice where this is true.
If you think you are motivated, you will notice where that is true.
If you think you are dumb or don’t pick things up quickly, you will notice this.
If you think you can do anything you set your mind to, this is what you will see.
Is there a situation or experience you continue to have in your life that you would like to change? Or maybe there is one you can think of for your child. Ask yourself the following questions;
1. What experience would you like to have instead of the one you are currently experiencing?
2. What would you need to believe about yourself to have the new experience?
3. What thoughts would you be thinking if you had this belief about yourself?
4. Write these thoughts down and turn them into affirmations you can say regularly to yourself. Remember a belief is a thought repeated over and over again.
I would love to hear from you about what new thoughts and beliefs you are going to bring into your life today or what thoughts and beliefs are you going to encourage for your child. Click here to come over to my blog and comment below. While you are there read other comments and let us all share and learn from each other.
Until next time
Create for yourself a peaceful mind. I know you can do it!
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