In my last article (find it here), I was talking about positive affirmations and how they can create negative thoughts – the Superbug!
Did you notice that little voice piping up where you didn’t realise it before?
What if I told you I had a quick fix, a magic pill that could take the negative voice away?
Only this week I was working with a lady who felt like she was not a good enough Mum. When I questioned her about it, she realised she was a good Mum but just always felt like there was more she should be doing. She had recognised this before and tried using positive affirmations to help her feel better but found it didn’t really work. Some of the positive affirmations she used included;
“I love and approve of myself exactly as I am”
“I am a good Mum”
“I feel calm and relaxed when interacting with my children.”
We talked about what happened when she said her affirmations. She hadn’t thought about this before and was amazed when she realised there was another voice answering her affirmation with statements like;
“Why would I love and approve of myself. I’m don’t spend nearly enough time with the kids.”
“Pffff, good Mum, I don’t think so. You do heaps wrong.”
“Well that’s a joke, when do I ever feel calm and relaxed?”
As soon as she realised this she could recognise this voice was there all the time, giving her a hard time. The more positive she tried to be the harder time she got. Wow! What a big ‘Ah-ha’ moment.
Now, this doesn’t mean you shouldn’t use affirmations because affirmations are amazing… when used in the right way! So what is the magic pill?
ACT as though you believe it!
I said to her, what would happen if you told yourself you are going to ACT as though you believe the positive affirmations. The emphasis here is on the word ACT. Instead of just stating her affirmations, I suggested she choose times in her day where she says to herself; for the next 5mins (10, 20, whatever) I am going to;
ACT as if I love and approve of myself exactly as I am.
ACT as if I believe I am a good Mum, great Mum even!
ACT as if I am calm and relaxed when interacting with my children.
What do you think happened when she did this? The negative voice didn’t have an answer, it can’t because she was only saying she was acting it.
What else happened? She actually got to feel what it would be like to love and approve of herself, exactly as she is. She actually got to experience what it would feel like to be a great Mum. She actually got to taste feeling calm and relaxed when interacting with her children.
The superbug… the little (or BIG) negative voice was gone!
This simple exercise can be carried out for any positive state or feeling you want. You may have heard me refer to it slightly differently – ‘Fake it til you make it’. It is the same concept packaged differently.
Try it with confidence, contentment, motivation, inspiration, creativity and anything else.
Do it at times there is not much else happening. I like to do it when in the shower, cooking dinner or going from A to B.
What positive affirmation would you like to really feel? Comment below and let me know what happens when you ACT as if it is true.
If you are interested in working deeper on this or any other topic, I offer one-on-one coaching packages. Click here to find out more about my 12-week coaching package “Wake up Happy” and take the survey to see if it is right for you.
Or click here to go directly to my calendar and book a free half hour chat to discuss how my coaching could work for you. I make sure even half an hour you give you something to improve your life.